About Bobby-Jo

 Hello darling! I support awakening souls like you to connect back to the power of their authentic essence and to heal your  relationships with others and yourself so you can experience more joy and inner peace.  At the heart of what I do is transmuting shame - coming home to perfect acceptance of who you are. Bringing light into our darkness by loving the heck out of it! You are incredible and lovable and magical and I want to help you see that and create beautiful experiences from that knowing.

 

I love working with souls who know that it's more than about just healing their own life but also about being an embodiment of love - becoming living medicine for those around you. In the words of Ram Dass 'we're all just walking each other home'. There comes a point in our journey there is nothing else that makes sense than to simply love - to make our lives an expression of compassion in each and every moment to the best of our ability. And when we slip (and we do!) we bring the grace of compassion home to ourselves, and fall back into that state of love allllll over again. 
 

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It feels funny in a way to tell 'my story' because my inner work nowadays is more about transcending stories - releasing the past, knowing myself as an eternal soul and moving beyond identifying with 'where I've been' and 'what has happened to (for) me' and just being. 

 

Yet I know my experiences are a gift that was given to me and that through sharing them there is a chance to see yourself in my words - a part of you that will look into my story and go 'ahhhh, me too!" Often I get messages asking about my past so I hope that reading a little about my early experiences will help you to feel less alone, and more loved and understood ♡

Often the ways the Universe sends us challenges is a clue to our mission. I was always very sensitive to the separation I saw occurring between people: My parents had an unhappy marriage and I grew up with a suicidal father who would have a major episode about once a month who I was made responsible for 'saving' (eventually I wasn't there and he is no longer on this plane) - I was an emotional parent for him from some of my earliest memories.

Out in the wider world I could see just how deeply humanity was suffering and it hurt my heart. I would go to parties and whilst other people were focused on pleasure and having a 'good time', I would be the one finding the friend who was struggling and sitting in the closet talking them through their problems - seeking those real deep, cathartic conversations where we could see into each others' souls. Other times I was the one crying - I would feel so hopeless seeing people acting from ego and hurting each other and yet knowing that they weren't ready yet to see themselves honestly and make a change - and not knowing what my purpose was yet.

I was very aware I was living in a world that was full of conditional love... and I could feel in my heart 'there's got to be a better way to do this...' 

After experiencing a spiritual awakening around the beginning of my twenties, I began exploring meditation, eastern philosophy, esoteric topics, mindfulness etc. Shortly thereafter, I developed a life changing chronic illness (ME/CFS) which made me lose many aspects of my external identity such as the ability to work, exercise and even the ability to eat most foods and sometimes left me housebound. At my most sick, I had recently gone through a break up and if I cried, I noticed I became too weak to be able to go outside and enjoy the fresh air the next day. I realised that if I was to have any chance of recovery I needed to bring my nervous system into a state of deep relaxation - for several months I spent hours each day in meditation, before beginning to slowly see positive shifts in my energy levels over time. It was though this extreme 'adverse' experience that I can now see as a gift that I was invited to go deep inwards and learn so much about myself and the world and undo many fear based patterns and ways of thinking based on societal conditioning.

Throughout my unwellness experience, one aspect of my reality which became even more precious and was still available was my relationships.. As I moved through my own inner work and observed the world around me, it dawned upon me even more deeply how much collective trauma and unconsciousness there has been in the ways we relate to one another. Even within the spiritual community, those that have knowingly been 'on the path' for years were also sometimes not able to translate their spiritual knowledge into the way they showed up in their day to day relationships with others - especially romantic and familial relationships which can be some of the most intense and challenging! 

 

Of course I was not immune to my own ego in relationships! As I examined my own wounded inner child, fearful avoidant attachment style, and dived into understanding the psychology that can sometimes end up being bypassed on the ascension path, I awakened to the value of learning what conscious relationships look and sound like in reality. I found myself by accident becoming a guide for those who knew themselves as spiritual beings but were looking for the answer to questions such as: ‘What does it look like to love this person in my situation?’, ‘I know what it’s like to be conscious when I’m alone but what does a highly conscious conversation actually sound like?’, ‘'How do I bring the energy of love into my communication when I’m triggered, when me and the other person are in conflict?’, 'How do I know whether to end a connection?', 'How do I date consciously?' and of course ‘How can I have a conscious relationship with myself? How can I honour myself and show up authentically, whilst being in the presence of others who may or may not be able to understand, empathise with, even respect me?’ Ultimately all questions that involve how to experience peace and bliss whilst being in the world, rather than only the 'monk on the mountain'. 

Many times spirituality is taught as a solitary activity  - but can we bring out spirituality off the yoga mat and into the real world?  Can we bring presence into our conversations, into our communities?

We get to learn a new template for relating: divine union, which comes from being in inner union with oneself. 

There have been lots of ways I have not been in inner union in the past, such as struggling with eating disorders, depression, anxiety, body image, insecure attachment. My path now is moving from inner separation to deeper self love - which is a lifelong journey on one level… and on another level if you choose love in this moment, that is all there is, and 'separation ' simply dissolves into love.

My past was enveloped with a calling to do deep shadow work and to transmute a lot of heaviness into light! Nowadays, my focus is channeled more towards embodying the kind of energy I would like to see in the world. I feel that one of the reasons I have been put on Earth is to show that healing doesn't have to be a 'hard slog' - that medicine and breakthroughs can also be found in play, inspiration and lightness... and that when we have the experience of difficulty, we are being reminded to deeply surrender to the moment and rediscover living in flow and trust (a lifelong lesson for all of us!)

A lovely compliment that I received from one of my fellow coaching friends is that 'I make shadow work look easy' - and that's because when you live from the soul, things are simple! That's not to say that our soul lessons are always delivered without pain, that we don't feel challenged, or that growth doesn't sometimes call us beyond the edges of our comfort zone... (Oh goodness it does!) But when we see things as 'complex' we are seeing through the lens of the egoic mind. There is always a tool, approach or perspective shift that can invite us back into finding a simple 'solution' for this moment, whether that be an external action or a change in outlook that invites deep acceptance.