I've have reached a stage in my spiritual path where there's really no going back: if I move outside of my integrity, my body will internally scream at me and get me to turn around and change paths!
This has happened in different layers and in different ways, for example not being able to exchange sexual energy unless the container feels very healing and sacred, or not being able to avoid telling the truth in my relationships despite leaning into deep discomfort.
I can feel the subtle ways that I could be playing out self betrayal.
A world where I believe it is okay to betray myself is also a world where I subconsciously invite you to betray yourself for my comfort.
I don't desire that world for any of us, so I choose my highest good!
Even if it seems illogical, non linear or even 'crazy' by others standards (my intuition has been pretty bang on before so I trust her by now).
I have also felt in the past how if I did something which was outside of my truth, my whole body started to shut down:
My creativity nosedived
My limbs would feel tight, tense and locked
I felt drained, tired and apathetic
| lacked motivation
I had to avoid the mentors and resources that most inspire and realign me in order to maintain the facade
However when I do something that feels true for me:
My creativity lights up
I receive more energy
My productivity increases
I feel light, expanded and excited about life
My mood, state of mind, signs and synchronicities confirm my choice even before the results drop in