God will look after you if you have no one in your suffering

God never lets me forget important things, or things that need my attention. I am open to signs and constantly in communication so there is no chance I will miss the things I need to know to move forward.

A little example is I looked at my hair today and thought, okay my ends seem really dry. Frizzy hedgehog look alert! Besides the point... I asked 'will I end up doing it anyway, no matter what, or do I need to set a reminder on my phone?' (I wasn't super excited about putting any extra effort into my hair today). But I was told that I don't need to remember, it will happen naturally.

It happens often, where I fully let go of something I need to do and won't have to try - I'll just remember it spontaneously or someone else will remind me or a sign or something like that.

It reminds me of something Ram Dass said once in a lecture - I can't recall the exact words but it was along the lines of 'just bliss out... Don't worry about the world - someone else will take care of it. Someone will come along and ask "have you eaten?" '

It once seemed like a naive stance to me but I am getting a sense of a deeper quality behind the wisdom. It's not a willful 'I will abandon my worldly needs and be careless', but that when we are truly wrapped up in communion with the divine, following the flow, what is needed to take care of your physical vessel will probably pop up. I like to think of it like the universe being a great mother who is more than willing to bring lunch to her daughter who has been studying solidly. In the real world, that mother might be less willing to bring dinner to the child who is busy playing video games or football or otherwise avoiding her work... But the child who works diligently inspires that natural desire to give, to nurture in others. In human terms, plenty of people are not that loving mother - they have their stuff that gets in the way of that, but creation on an energy level isn't like that.

If you need it, if you truly need it and you hold your hands up and ask for it be delivered through divine will if it's in your best interest... Your necessities will be covered.

And I know this but I'm still reluctant to write about it because it doesn't mean it's a magic wand or it'll come easily or quickly or without suffering in the process. You get refined real good before you get the effortless stuff some of the times.

Like with chronic illness, I thought I was going to die and I was in constant severe pain beyond what I previously thought was possible for a human body - my life was unbearable most of the time, I didn't known if it was even really worth trying to survive. So I went from that predicament of really the worst level of suffering possible, and I surrendered a whole load (I mean every hour of every day for several months) before anything really started to move significantly... and that was trying a whole bunch of things that didn't work or helped the tiniest bit - and then finally there was finding my practitioner and finding out exactly what my body needed through muscle testing.

And then it was a divine inspiration that led me to start visiting Brighton again to see my friend... and that was the most healing thing my soul had felt in a long time. Then I realised the healing power the ocean and deep friendship could have... and then I met my boyfriend and that was so healing for my body and for my soul, like he had magical powers to actually make symptoms disappear sometimes, it was almost otherworldly. And then the healing came from being understood and loved too.

Because this whole disease thing stems from a lack of love somewhere.

And it's not your fault because the world at large has been so spiritually sick and some of us are more sensitive and our circumstances are really agonising.

But it starts to move because you say: 'unconditionally, wherever I have been... I am going to move in the direction of receiving love. And if no one on this Earth can love me or meet my needs like my heart is crying out for, I give it to God - whether it's my connection to you that heals me or if you help me to bring in other forms like loved ones or practitioners who are right for me or you connect me to my intuition and tell me the next steps... I just choose to walk the path of light unconditionally now and trust I will reap the fruit'.