People might be more supportive than your fears tell you!

Recently I shared a few things with a friend that I didn't know how they would be received because they were more 'controversial' or an experience that not many people can directly relate to.


I was ready for disagreement or a response that didn't fully see me, because me sharing was actually an act of self love, of fully seeing and validating myself.


To my pleasant surprise, one of my shares even received a "Me too! Thank goodness I have someone else I can talk to about this!"


Sometimes the disconnect is actually in our head!


Sometimes we assume that we won't be understood, that the other person won't be able to empathise or respond in a supportive way... And that is actually a reflection of our past, not the other person.


I have had many experiences in my life where I felt worse after opening up - dismissed, preached at, misunderstood etc.


As I have done more inner work on myself I have also found that many others could no longer relate to an aspect of me and would give advice based on their ego's limitations so it didn't feel good to open up - so there are experiences that I have mainly relied on self reflection and self soothing to process.


Being able to go within and find your own answers is a valuable tool and such a big part of healing anxious attachment and it's all about balance ~ if we don't also feel there is a safe place to verbalise our experience this is the fertile soil for an avoidant attachment style to grow.


It's healthy to get to a point where we aren't placing expectations upon another person to get us in order to be happy ~ that ultimately we know how they react isn't personal.


And the other part of being highly conscious sometimes includes to have the courage to be vulnerable and to find out if they are able to meet us in this moment ~ not placing our judgements on them based on our past.


You might find that they are able to hear you and meet your relational needs far better than anticipated!