Your job in a conscious relationship is to (lovingly) speak the truth and let what will be, be.
The degree of consciousness in your relationships is defined by the degree of your commitment to truth.
There is no intimacy (in-to-me-I-see ) without letting our internal truths be witnessed.
Offering our truth is the highest form of love.
This does not mean that we deliver our truth from a place of judgement.
In fact the deeper we go into our own truth and gain clarity, our truth will naturally include empathy for the other person we are expressing to, and an awareness of how to hold space for the experience of our reality being difficult to hear at times.
(Also when we are surrendered to truth we can say 'I am finding it hard to communicate consciously right now - I'm in a lot of pain. I hope you can understand, help me feel safe and invite me back to love if I slip up).
Truth is the ultimate love giver because it is the total acceptance of our experience. Truth says:
"There is nothing wrong with my emotional experience and my deepest desires. I am worthy to show up just as I am. And so by extension you are worthy to show up as you are, feeling as you do, wanting as you do. We can say yes to each other or we can say no, and I will give you the information to base your decision on from a place of awareness. And I would also like to receive that gift in return... Even if it's not what my ego would like to hear, I'd like to know, because I don't want to build my life based on a misunderstanding."
Many people have been brought up with a template where our truth was shamed - perhaps we were not able to set boundaries and assert our own needs without being shamed. Perhaps a parent or partner or friends had too much pain within them to make room for your truth... and hadn't learned to know and value their own truth.
But truth is sacred.
Withholding the truth or saying what the other person wants to hear is a misguided act of love - often our loved one will feel shocked or betrayed when they find out that the version of ourselves that we presented to them was false. Or they may feel sadness because they would have loved for us to feel safe enough to trust them with the truth in the first place.
If telling the truth would rewrite your relationship... then it should!
It can be a radical act of courage to open ourselves up and face the other person's possible rejection, disappointment, misunderstanding. And this is the mirror of relationship - to show us the aspects of ourselves that are calling out for our own love and acceptance. And in the right hands, that love and acceptance can also be extended out to you in ways that you never knew were possible, witnessing the aspects of yourself that you see as 'shadow' with the eyes of innocence and love.
It continues to be a practice, sometimes messy or imperfectly executed, but aim your heart in the direction of truth:
It's the only choice that can set you free.