The gifts of each insecure attachment style

Anxious attachment:

Beloved, you are overflowing with love! You have managed to keep your heart open in a world where it's often been perceived as 'cool' to close off and appear guarded and aloof. You know how to deeply connect with others so they feel seen and heard and that is such profound medicine. You have planted so many seeds of love!Your path to growth is to take this gift and infuse it with realising how precious your energy is and pouring the same love you have been giving into yourself.

Path to healing:

You are so compassionate, who could give you love better than you?! Release guilt, obligation and the resentment that comes from overgiving, and choose to fill your own cup first. The deepest level of open heartedness is when we can make peace with others' closed hearts, discerning where giving would be abandoning ourselves and where we can give from a place of genuinely having no expectations.

Dismissive avoidant:

Where others struggle to let go of expectations in their relationships you have obtained mastery of not being attached to needing others' energy. A beautiful way that you show your love is being okay if others aren't able to give of their time. You want everyone to be themselves, not to feel pressured or trapped and you offer the gift of freedom to your loved ones. Your path to growth is realising the deepest level of non attachment also includes not being attached to protecting ourselves from being seen deeply!

Path to healing:

Our mind tells us we have to do it alone and nobody can be trusted, but trustworthy people who respect and appreciate your vulnerability are probably in your life already but you haven't taken the chance to let them support you! Sometimes it's the smart decision to heal alongside others - having a support system accelerates your growth and you are missing out on the beautiful gift of connection!

Fearful avoidant:

Dear fearful avoidant, you have had a really rough road in life...You know what it's like to be overflowing with love, really wanting to receive in return and you know what it's like to 'give up' and guard your heart. You empathise with all different kinds of people. If someone is more avoidant or anxious than you, it might hurt... But we also get it. That has been us too. You notice so much and care so much about the human condition. But have you given yourself the same chance to truly notice and care for yourself, to see a higher perspective of why everything YOU did made perfect sense?

Path to healing:

Your job now is to bring the focus back to yourself, allowing yourself to treat yourself as worthy of everything you want others to receive!

Things don't have to be complicated like our home situation was as a child. We get to:

  • See the higher perspective of our own trauma. Everything we did that hurt others or self sabotaged made perfect sense based on what happened to us. We get to give our inner child so much love! They experienced so much neglect and it's time for US to not neglect them any longer.

  • Notice what our feelings and needs are - often running comes from not being tuned into ourselves until we experience overwhelm, and not communicating. We can notice how we feel, self validate our emotions and set boundaries and make requests sooner than later. The highest perspective you will get on a situation is formed after we have a conversation! Instead of assuming what the other person thinks (where our perceptiveness can get hijacked by our fears), we can call upon the courage to let other people know what we need and find out who is able to meet us with compassion.