Ways we create unhealthy relationships

  • We didn’t notice the red flags that this partner was not emotionally healthy or ignored them, suppressing our intuition

  • We were addicted to being in love and settled out of the fear of being alone

  • We weren’t our authentic selves at the start of the relationship

  • We weren’t honest about wants and needs

  • We didn’t practice healthy boundaries, instead we over-gave and resentment built up

  • We communicated ineffectively - our partner didn’t notice our hints or they felt criticised and attacked when we made a request

  • We shut down and didn’t allow our partner in emotionally because of fear of getting hurt

  • We were fiercely protective of our time and energy and didn’t allow ourselves to be influenced by our partner’s feelings and repeatedly ignored their requests

  • We tried to control our partner, pressured them or played games

  • We tried to rescue our partner instead of empowering them

  • We blamed our partner instead of seeking to understand them

  • We expected too much of our partner - nobody can meet all of our needs

  • We didn’t walk away when we realised our values and life goals weren’t aligned

  • We didn’t respect ourselves so we allowed others to treat us without respect

  • We didn’t give our partner enough (healthy levels of) space

  • We broke our promises / were unreliable

  • We repeatedly chose casual relations over genuine intimacy and didn’t communicate our intentions, so others felt led on and hurt

  • We jumped from one relationship to another without healing and self examination so we could be a better partner the next time around

Is there any on the list that you are transmuting?