We didn’t notice the red flags that this partner was not emotionally healthy or ignored them, suppressing our intuition
We were addicted to being in love and settled out of the fear of being alone
We weren’t our authentic selves at the start of the relationship
We weren’t honest about wants and needs
We didn’t practice healthy boundaries, instead we over-gave and resentment built up
We communicated ineffectively - our partner didn’t notice our hints or they felt criticised and attacked when we made a request
We shut down and didn’t allow our partner in emotionally because of fear of getting hurt
We were fiercely protective of our time and energy and didn’t allow ourselves to be influenced by our partner’s feelings and repeatedly ignored their requests
We tried to control our partner, pressured them or played games
We tried to rescue our partner instead of empowering them
We blamed our partner instead of seeking to understand them
We expected too much of our partner - nobody can meet all of our needs
We didn’t walk away when we realised our values and life goals weren’t aligned
We didn’t respect ourselves so we allowed others to treat us without respect
We didn’t give our partner enough (healthy levels of) space
We broke our promises / were unreliable
We repeatedly chose casual relations over genuine intimacy and didn’t communicate our intentions, so others felt led on and hurt
We jumped from one relationship to another without healing and self examination so we could be a better partner the next time around
Is there any on the list that you are transmuting?