When someone throws their pain at you, you don't have to catch it


This is a huge shift when you integrate it into your life.


Imagine if someone came up to you and gave you a bag of dog poo... you wouldn't keep it in your home! You would decline in the first place, or if it was posted through the letter box , remove it from the house immediately!


So why do we keep other people's negative emotions in the home in our head?


If somebody blames you or says hurtful words towards you, you actually don't have to absorb any of that energy.

Energetically you can just go: "Okay, I can see this person is in a lot of pain right now and they don't know how to handle that intense stuff themselves... So instead of processing it inwardly or being vulnerably honest about how they're feeling, it's easier for them to direct that negativity towards me. I understand that it's not personal and I don't choose to let my ego get drawn into an argument. I choose to remain calm and communicate peacefully or remove myself from the situation, and I do not give them permission to make me unhappy".


The only reason that we get sucked into the drama in others' behaviour is because it resonates with a part of us that is still carrying pain and fear.


So if someone sends you negative energy and it does hurt, you can still respond calmly and when you are away from the situation you can turn that situation into a blessing because it was an invitation to go inward and find out why their behaviour bothered you.


Of course on a survival level we can feel emotions such as anger or anxiety when the situation feels unsafe, and if the emotions don't pass within a few hours after you are no longer there, often there are stories, thoughts that keep us suffering if we believe them.


E.g. "What if they are right?"

"Maybe I deserved to be treated this way"

"Why are people always being so horrible to me?"

"What if other people take their side?"

"How dare they speak like that to me. I need to get my own back somehow"

"I don't know how I can be happy if they don't love me/if this doesn't happen the way I want it to"


As we release believing our negative thoughts and see them as merely worries the mind creates to try to ensure our physical safety, we absorb less and less negativity from others and we can move through emotions that do come up more swiftly because we aren't attaching thoughts to them - they can just be emotions that come up and pass through the body.


It's a lifelong practice but we can bring our awareness to witnessing our thoughts and not believing them each time we have a 'negative experience'. With practice it becomes a habit to naturally question and release any negative thoughts so we are less affected by what others say or do - rather than a boat on the waves in a sotrm that can be rocked by others' judgements, we become sturdy in our energy like a rooted tree, Our leaves might get a little shaken but we are able to re-centre much more quickly and be more graceful with ourselves during the process.


©2020 by Bobby-Jo Dearnley.